Struggling

Today I am struggling with pain.  What kind of pain, you say?  The pain that gets right down into your bones.  It hobbles you, incapacitates you in the worst kind of way.  It's a pain that will ease some days but never completely goes away.  What kind of pain is that?  ARTHRITIS.

We have had such severe weather swings, that my arthritis doesn't know if it is coming or going.  And  that sucks big time.  Some days are better than others, and some days are absolutely horrible.  Some days I can barely walk and experience deep pain with each step.  Today is one of those days.  This switch to the deep bone chilling dampness has flared up the arthritis in my right foot and my hips and lower back.  My hands aren't too bad today, but my jaw feels like someone punched me.  It makes it so hard to keep up with daily life.  And of course the arthritis has to be in my right foot, which is my spinning foot.  Gonna try and see how spinning goes later.

But being a chef first and foremost, some days it is extremely hard to hold a knife and cook for people. But I have to persevere and continue to provide great food for our customers.  I think I would be completely lost if I didn't have the opportunity to cook for others.  Some days I wish that people didn't have to pay for the food I make them.  I sincerely feel that my calling is to run a kitchen where anyone that can't afford to eat out or are less fortunate, can come and eat good, healthy, nutritious food for free.  And not just a soup kitchen type place, but a real restaurant with nice tables and chairs and matching silverware.  I know this will never happen,  but I would love to provide for those who don't have a lot and are struggling from day to day.

I have always wanted to own my own restaurant, but I know that is not in my future.  But that's ok.  I am getting older and my body is telling me that i can't do as much as I used to be able to.

But as you can tell, I am not letting things get me down and out.   As depressing as it gets me sometimes, I know that there are people worse off than I am out there, and that they need more that I do.

So the next time you see some one, whether they look like they are suffering or not, give them a smile.  That might just be the brightest thing in their entire day.

What a Day.

Actually, it's been a couple of days.  We had the granddaughters spend the night last night.  The oldest is 5 years old and the second one is 10 months old and is still being breast fed.  That in itself is a challenge.  Mommy had to make sure she had enough milk to supply me for the night and today.  That was well taken care of.  Both granddaughters had a cold as did mommy.  Daddy was in Toronto, so this rather worked out for mommy.  She was able to have some time all to herself, without having to run after her girls.  And it was truly appreciated.

This meant that I had two days of no working with fibre and man am I missing it.  But yet I didn't miss it because I got all the loving and kisses and cuddles from the two best granddaughters in the world.  There is nothing better than the honest and sincerest loving from those two wonderful little munchkins.

I never knew what was missing in my life until I became a grandmother and held that tiny little being in my arms.  I realized that there had been a hole in my heart that just got filled by this innocent little child.  She was perfect.

Don't get me wrong; for 28 years I thought my life was complete the day my daughter was born.  She was the joy of my life and I would have given up my life for her at any given moment.  I thought that I didn't need anything else to fill my heart with the love that my daughter did.  But I was wrong.  My heart was filled, but there was still a little bit that was empty.  Not anymore.  With each new grandchild, that hole got filled up and I was complete.

So part of my journey to the golden fleece will be dedicated to the three most important women in my life, my daughter, and my two granddaughters,

Journey to the Golden Fleece.

Today is going to be a day dedicated to my Journey to the Golden Fleece.  There will be some pictures of my hard copy journal along with some of the fibres I plan on using in this module.  I have the feeling that it's not going to be an easy journey, but one that will challenge me every step of the way.  I have some colours picked out already along with some of the fibres as well.  So for right now, I am going to leave you and go and take some pictures.  Bye bye for now.

 This first picture is of my title page in my journal.  I found the picture in a national geographic and it is a super close up of scales on a bug.  I don't remember which one though.  Sorry.  But the colours jumped out at me instantly, so I knew it had to be part of my journal.

 My granddaughters also get to be a part of this journey.  They are the joys of my life and I love them dearly, so of course they have to be there with me along the way.

 Orchids.  What can I say about the colours of them.  These ones spoke to me about when I started on my journey of creativity.  Each of the main colours holds a special place as it states what I was feeling at that point of my journey.

 And since my printer decided to print two copies of the colouring book, one had to go into the journal.  :)  Each module shall start this way.

 These colours of wool, to me, represent my life.  Different shades for different areas, but the main underlying colour of my life is the grey.  Wait till you see how that dull grey colour will change during each phase of my adventure in this module.

 Silk Hankies.  Enough said.  The top ones I made myself from cocoons that I purchased from Camaj Fiber Arts. The ones below were purchased from the same person, but were already in hankie form.  These will be intertwined in my journey.

 And pulled silk roving?  Again.  Enough said.  This little gift was also from Camaj and it will also be incorporated into my journey.

So here is just a tidbit of what will be joining me in my Journey to adventure yarn for module one.  I can't wait to start organizing it all into their own respective places.

So for now, I must bid you adieu.  Till we talk again.

My day of Rest

Here we are.....It's Sunday and it's going to be a day of rest for me.  My hubby and I are going to disappear for the afternoon for some much needed me time.  I have been putting in a lot of hours at the restaurant and since I have the next four days off, it is going to be nice to get away for a few hours.  No spinning, no knitting, I am not even going to cook dinner tonight.  I have cooked enough meals for others lately.  Nope....tonight I am going to let someone else cook for me.  :)  I think I deserve that once in awhile.

Here are a couple of the meals that our restaurant served on our first Valentines Day dinner.

Now you can see why I need a rest.  This was only a smidgen of what was served.  There were other meals as well.  And the desserts as well.

Had a wonderful service at church this morning, and feel rejuvenated by it.  Pastor Jones talked about how we need to stop quenching the fire of our faith and instead, feed that fire, stoke it and help it to burn oh so brightly.

If you want to should "Praise the Lord" during the service, then go ahead and do it.  We have been ingrained for so long to still quietly in church and "go with the flow" so to speak.  Raise your hands in adoration to the Lord and his spirit all around us.  With out the church the fire becomes embers and will eventually get cold.  We need to continuously keep building the fire to keep it healthy and strong.

The sermon was called the Incendiary Fellowship and it was based on 1 Thessalonians 5:12-28.

My First Blog

Who would have thunk, that I would ever start blogging.  Thanks to a dear friend, I have started venturing into this strange world.  But alas I shall. So here goes.

I have started on a new journey for me.  It is called "Journey to the Golden Fleece."  This will be an interesting journey for me, because it is going to be making me re-examine some things in my life that I am not sure I want to do.  But, you know what?  I already have done that.  In module one, it is The Call to Adventure.  It wants us to try to pinpoint when we decided that we have become "heroes" and changed how we looked at things.  How did we become the creative beings that we are today, what has influenced us to become this way and so on. 

The point in my life, I feel, is when I was blessed with a beautiful baby girl.  No one will ever be able to tell me, that they felt the same way I did, when they placed that little tiny girl, into my arms for the first time.  Each person's feelings and emotions are their own.  There are no two alike and of that I am glad.  That means I am my own being and creative in my own way.  

Being a single mom, at that time, way back when, had a lot of negative connotations attached.  I was asked if I was going to abort the baby, if I would get rid of it?  But no.  I decided, that since I had been adopted, that if I didn't feel I could raise this little girl, then I would place her for adoption.  

Let me tell you, we struggled a lot over the years,  had a lot of hard times, and were even homeless for a time, but we still managed to get through.  I had to become creative in ways to put food on the table, NO I did not steal, but we would go foraging for berries, came across abandoned rhubarb patches out in the middle of fields, and found abandoned fruit trees as well.    We rented garden plots for very cheap and grew a lot of our own food that way.  I would have pots on the balconies of the places we lived with tomatoes and peppers and things.  I even washed our clothes, and my daughters diapers, in the bathtub, by hand, because I couldn't afford to go to the laundry mat.  

But that is behind me now, but I still have those creative juices flowing through me.  It just now shows in my spinning and knitting and creating delicious food.  

I still can and freeze fruits and produce for the winter months, buy as much as I can on sale, and believe strongly in the barter and trade system.  

So now you have a little idea of how my "Journey to the Golden Fleece" has started.  I keep a hand written journal, with all my scribblings and pictures and such, and now I will also be keeping this blog as well.  This will not just be for the Fleece Journey, but for all aspects of my life and what I am up to.

So welcome to my world.  If you like it, please stay awhile, pull up a comfy chair, sit a spell and read.  If you don't like it, that is quite alright as well.  This might not be your cup of tea, and that's just fine too.  

The world is a fascinating place out there.   Let me show you a little bit about mine.