Struggling

Today I am struggling with pain.  What kind of pain, you say?  The pain that gets right down into your bones.  It hobbles you, incapacitates you in the worst kind of way.  It's a pain that will ease some days but never completely goes away.  What kind of pain is that?  ARTHRITIS.

We have had such severe weather swings, that my arthritis doesn't know if it is coming or going.  And  that sucks big time.  Some days are better than others, and some days are absolutely horrible.  Some days I can barely walk and experience deep pain with each step.  Today is one of those days.  This switch to the deep bone chilling dampness has flared up the arthritis in my right foot and my hips and lower back.  My hands aren't too bad today, but my jaw feels like someone punched me.  It makes it so hard to keep up with daily life.  And of course the arthritis has to be in my right foot, which is my spinning foot.  Gonna try and see how spinning goes later.

But being a chef first and foremost, some days it is extremely hard to hold a knife and cook for people. But I have to persevere and continue to provide great food for our customers.  I think I would be completely lost if I didn't have the opportunity to cook for others.  Some days I wish that people didn't have to pay for the food I make them.  I sincerely feel that my calling is to run a kitchen where anyone that can't afford to eat out or are less fortunate, can come and eat good, healthy, nutritious food for free.  And not just a soup kitchen type place, but a real restaurant with nice tables and chairs and matching silverware.  I know this will never happen,  but I would love to provide for those who don't have a lot and are struggling from day to day.

I have always wanted to own my own restaurant, but I know that is not in my future.  But that's ok.  I am getting older and my body is telling me that i can't do as much as I used to be able to.

But as you can tell, I am not letting things get me down and out.   As depressing as it gets me sometimes, I know that there are people worse off than I am out there, and that they need more that I do.

So the next time you see some one, whether they look like they are suffering or not, give them a smile.  That might just be the brightest thing in their entire day.